Jennifer Aniston thinks casually boning douches will ruin her good-girl image

Publish date: 2024-04-20

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Yesterday, Us Weekly released online one part of a large Jennifer Aniston piece from their print edition. I covered it here – the story was mostly about Jennifer’s casual, sexual relationship with Josh Hopkins, a second-tier television actor on Cougar Town. Hopkins sounded like a major douche in the Us Weekly story, like a 40-something a–hole obessed with dating younger women and casually referring to Aniston as his “sport f-ck”. Now I’ve gotten a chance to read the full Us Weekly story (in the print edition), and I see where they were going with this. The whole piece is about how Jennifer really likes the way her personal life is going these days, but that she doesn’t want to go public with how she really is with men – basically, she loves having casual, sexual relationships with douches and a–holes who treat her like crap, and she’s afraid if people figure out that she doesn‘t really give a sh-t about “settling down with a nice guy” and “having babies,” she will no longer be “America’s Sweetheart”. Here’s a bit more:

It’s become a ritual for Jennifer Aniston. She gives an interview pagged to her most recent romantic comedy. The topic of marriage and children not-so casually arises. Then she gives the same optimistic and affirmative answer about how she’s still holding out for true love.

But it turns out her well-honed mantra is wearing thin, because contrary to her lovelorn image, the star quietly evolved into a serial dater this past summer. Not only did her relationship with Josh Hopkins go on longer than most realized, but she also dated Chris Gartin and Harry Morton. Sources say all the bachelors, like John Mayer before them, share alarming character traits: boyish, cocky, and commitment-phobic.

Still, Aniston can’t help herself.

“No woman ever like thinking of themselves being attracted to asses,” says one insider, “But frankly, you have to have a lot of confidence to ask out Jennifer Aniston, and guys with that much confidence tend to be full of themselves!”

Not that the star will ever open up about her secret side. Five years after her split from brad, insiders tell Us she’s reluctant to change her good-girl-who-just-wants-a-family image.

“She thinks that whole ‘America’s sweetheart’ thing will go away if she comes clean,” says one source. “But the reality is that I can’t see her settling down and starting a family. She likes dating and having a good time. And these guys are her type.”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

Us Weekly then goes through the three men – Hopkins, Gartin, and Harry Morton. We heard about Hopkins yesterday, and there’s not much new stuff for the other players. Oh, re: Hopkins – apparently he’s been gossiping about Aniston all over the place, and one source says: “He has to be careful. He can’t piss off Courteney.” At this point, I think Courteney has heard and seen it all, Josh. Regarding Harry Morton, they basically just say they went out a few times and he likely went over to Jennifer’s house to bone her. Morton is decribed as “very cool” and funny, but one bitchy source says: “I can’t believe she was fine with taking Lohan’s sloppy seconds!” Only Gartin seems kind of like a keeper, but he’s already moved on to another girl (and he’s still mid-divorce).

On one side, I think it’s tedious and dumb to call out any woman for dating and sleeping around and having fun. I mean, it’s Aniston’s life, and I don’t judge her for not being in a steady relationship. I do judge her for creating the fraud of this “nice girl” who just wants a nice guy to have lots and lots of babies, though. Oh, she’s everybody’s sweet girlfriend! No, she’s not. She’s a middle-aged lady with a masochistic streak who likes to get laid, but she‘s too busy playing the victim to acknowledge it. Frankly, I prefer that Aniston. If only she would just be that woman, openly and honestly. The mirage of the America’s Sweetheart tag… it will end up suffocating her.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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